Busting Anxiety 💪🏻

Ever had an awful feeling something so simple as a conversation you haven’t had yet, take over your every thought and action? Last week was a big week for me reguarding beating one part of mental health I battle against every day – anxiety. I haven’t discussed anxiety in itself on my blog before but it’s time I did. I’m so proud of myself. So so SO proud of myself.


Here’s some feelings I have put into questions that I experienced:

How many times and how many conversations can you really make up that could potentially happen but then to just think constantly about the answers and how you could perhaps change the way you respond to them can one person make?

How many nights will I lack sleep or have disturbed sleep?

How many of them nights will I wake up in a sweat/panic?

How much hair will I have pulled out due to Trich thinking it is a great time to play up? (Oh Trich just never lets me live, it has me under its thumb… grrrrr)

To finish, how many times will my dreams incorporate this meeting and make me think of every single thing that could go wrong and resulting in waking up with my heart going so fast it makes me shake? All over one meeting, that my mind over thought and over thought and would not let me rest.

It was like this whilst outside the room where I had this meeting, let alone the lead up to it. My anxiety was literally shouting at me whilst on my way and outside, telling me to go back home and I wasn’t worthy of talking to someone. That the person I was about to talk to didn’t care and that no one cares. That what I was feeling, I deserved. Anxiety is a nasty, nasty thing to live with. It makes it so hard to get on with your daily life without having these potential set-backs. The reality of anxiety is, it is not cute. Anxiety isn’t trendy. It is awful to feel this way over things that would be so normal to do for every other person. It frustrates me no end the stigma surrounding anxiety.

The day before I had one of the most incredible books delivered* to me. The book is called “We’re All Mad Around Here” and is a guide on how to cope and survive social anxiety. It’s written by a fab lady called Claire Eastham and I have a lot to thank this woman. When she asked me if I’d like a proof copy of this book I couldn’t turn it down. I read the entire book in one night and she made me feel less alone. The way the book is written is like she is talking to you. There is the perfect mix between the science of why these feelings happen and her own experiences. The addition of Claire’s own experiences makes you feel like you’re not alone, especially when you can relate. I learnt an awful, awful lot about social anxiety from this book. I learnt ways that I can help myself and I learnt ways I can help others.

I was able to take what I learnt from this book to before my meeting to make me feel less anxious and nervous. I will be reading this book again, especially if I’m ever in that situation.


I’m proud of myself, that although all the signals in my mind told me to turn around and go home, I was able to overcome them and go into the meeting. Even if the lady told me to put my laptop down because I was shaking too much and was making her feel giddy. I did it. I didn’t let anxiety and it’s overpowering thoughts take over. I’m so glad I did too, it helped me a lot.

If you have something important coming up and you’re in the same situation I believe you can do it. If I was in the state I was and did it, you can as well. You’ve got totally got this. Bust anxiety in the floor and show it, you’re the boss… not anxiety.
** I was sent this as a little gift not as a sponser! Thank you so much to the lovely Claire 😘

Advertisements

Happy two years Southampton

Grab yourself a cuppa, this one is going to be long. Today marks exactly two years ago I made one of the biggest decisions and done the biggest thing I’ve ever done; move over 100 miles away from my family and friends. 100 miles away from home.

screen-shot-2016-09-17-at-19-51-46I still remember the run up to going away. I remember every time I went to go and visit my nan. She would have added an essential thing you needed to have when living on your own which I would never of thought of. You know things like medicine – of course you’ll need that at some point unless you’re supernatural and immune to all illnesses, if thats the case please give me your secret. My nan still does that to this day, tops me up with the stuff that I will need but may not already gone out to buy it or wouldn’t necessary bought with a food shop – thank you nan! I really appreciate it.

I also remember my going away meal. The meal where my family got together for a little goodbye to uni and I bought my good friend Shannon along. It was the weekend before I went and I remember then it kicking in that my family won’t just be down the road. That if I needed eggs to bake cakes I wasn’t able to just run to my nan and steal two eggs and instead have to go to the shop and grab six eggs and waste four because I don’t like eating eggs on their own.

However, it meant that I was about to start to gain my own independence and that was exciting. I was about to have all the freedom I possibly could have, not that I didn’t have that before but even more so now. It meant that I had to grow up, quickly. Hell did it smack me round the face as soon as I got there. Once I had grabbed my fob (I was staying in student halls first year, as many people do) and unloaded the car of way too much of my belongings into my room I’ll be living in for the next ten months, grabbed a food shop and saw my dad off which was hands down one of the worst times – ever, I headed back to my room and sat on my bed thinking, what now with tears down my face. Even now when I say bye I always cry, there’s something about your family leaving you down away that is just so so sad.

In my first year I’m not going to lie I got homesick a lot. To the point I wouldn’t leave my room and just lay in bed feeling sad. I missed the whole different lifestyle I had at home which I didn’t realise I had until I moved away. I would call any family member as many times as I could just to talk to them. I didn’t even meet the people I’m currently living now, who lived down my hallway until a few weeks in. Not every one has an experience like that but because I feel like I’m such a family girl, it hit me hard. Looking back on that to now I don’t get it nearly as much. I’ve finally got round to thinking in my head, I’m only a three hour train ride home, it’s not that bad. Besides, it’s so much nicer to go home and see my family after a long while, it feels more… special?

It’s no secret if you’ve read my blog before that I have a mental health illness which is triggered majorly by anxiety and depression. It was life changing moving away from home and battling with that. It’s made me more aware of how to look after myself more and it literally is just me here, to look after myself. If I’m sick and I don’t have medicine in, I have to go out and buy it and still make my dinner and get through the day. This is probably one of the biggest thing’s I’ve learnt. I have had an overwhelming amount of support for this, however. Last year, just after I had started my second year I went to seek help with dealing with anxiety and the way it was making me feel from the uni after advice. It helped me a lot. I’ve wrote about it in a blog post here.

All in all I have learnt a lot about myself. I have a stable job here now, I’ve been passing my university projects and now going into third year and I have my own little uni family. I know more than two people now, I know all the great coffee shops and take aways and I now have people down here who look out for me. I have no idea, how I’ve made it this far without going home… especially after them first few weeks, but I battled through it and still going now. It’s been an adventure for sure. I still haven’t left Southampton and gone anywhere else down the south coast, that is still on my list to do, as well as go the Isle of Wight.

screen-shot-2016-09-17-at-19-54-22

A massive special thank you to the family and friends who listen to my rants constantly. Who listen when I have something I’m finding difficult and just need to speak it out. Those who give the most invaluable advice and those who check up on me to see how I’m doing. Those who call me for hours and hours because I’m feeling alone and those who text me to make sure I’m OK. I appreciate it so much, so so much. Genuinely. If you have just moved to uni and feeling alone, down, don’t really know what to do.. please please do message me. I would so love to help you and give you tips.

I’m lucky now that I can call Southampton my second home and I’m proud of myself.

June Round Up

We’ve reached the end of June already, how?? I could swear that the days are going faster, I sound like I’m past my age but.. its the truth! I set a bunch of goals to complete for the end of the month. These were:

  • Cut out additional sugars. I legit think I am addicted to sugar. I really really need to stop asap for my own health. It is becoming not ok and I’m well aware of it.
  • Go at least one day pull free. Just one day. This hasn’t happened in a while because I’ve been stressed and anxious about everything thats going on with the internship, getting something to pass the 100 hours and you know, general life stresses. I’ll be sure to update you all on my social media if this does happen, however – eek.
  • Get in contact with companies which I 100% want to get work experience with. Not just applying through panic and getting an internship I really don’t like again. That was not fun. I may do a blogpost on this soon about my experience with this internship and how to look for one which you love, if you’d be interested. Let me know.
  • Blog more. I’ve just recently started to share my experiences with mental health condition called Trichotillomania and the response/support I’ve received from it has been incredible. My blog posts about MH have been the ones which have been viewed/read the most and that makes me extremely happy and proud.
  • Get home and spend more time with my family. I’ve been home not even a week this year with university and I miss them home comforts so much. It is summer now and although I have to work overtime to pay the bills I must find some time just to take a break and re-coup at home. This also goes aside seeing my friends more often. I need to do this, need need need.

The additional sugars goal was completed in a week, I went home then ate sugar like it was the best thing ever and haven’t stopped since, sigh. 

I haven’t gone a day pull free all month and to be honest that makes me angry. Theres been 30 days this month and not one day did I stop pulling. It has however been a stressful month with getting results from uni, working loads and moving house. I hope one of these months to come I’ll be able to say at least one day I didn’t pull.

I have been in contact with companies I want to do internships and been offered some but with my financial state right now I couldn’t do it. I need to earn enough money for rent and bills first then go from there. It’s a hard cycle.

I’ve blogged at least once a week this month, sometimes maybe twice. That is an incredible achievement for me. I can’t wait to share some more fun times as well as more posts about Mental Health. I really enjoy writing about it knowing that people don’t feel alone anymore and raising awareness.

Finally, as I write this post I’m actually sat at home. With around 50 boxes of my own stuff surrounding me after moving out in Southampton earlier this week ready to sort out and move back down Monday for final year of uni in a different, much nicer house. I’m excited and quite nervous for last year. Lets hope I do myself proud.

Hope you all have a fab July and I shall see you all next month for more blogposts! Lets do this!

MUA VS Make Up Revolution – Highlighters

I have been searching for a highlighter for a while. I have always used my Sleek contour kit but have had it for around a year and a half, maybe even two years – no kidding. The highlighter however is now on its way out, it has that massive hole in the middle where you need to move your brush in really weird angles just to get some on it – not ideal and definitely time to upgrade.

However, I do not have the pounds right now to replace the Sleek one I love. I was on a hunt for a new one and heard really good things about the MUA highlighter and the Make Up Revolution one. With their affordable prices, I was feeling OK to buy both, after all I will have two highlighters for less than one – winning.

I first bought the MUA highlighter. This highlighter is more of a gold colour. I got it in the shade Iridescent Gold. It definitely lives up to it’s name. As soon as I bought it I instantly swatched it on my hand and was so impressed. The colour was gold and shimmery and just gorgeous. It stayed on the back of my hand for ages. Every time the sun it my hand I could see it glistening – perfect! Overall, I’m so so so pleased with this highlighter and it only costs £3. BARGAIN. You can buy it online here.

I then bought the Make Up Revolution highlighter in the shade Golden Lights. Every time I have been in my local Superdrug they have always, always been sold out. I was home for literally a few days (can’t wait to come back end of the month) and in that Superdrug there sat one highlighter in the shade I was after – SUCCESS. (So obviously I bought it!) When I swatched it on the back of my hand the pigmentation was insane. I love it! This one isn’t as gold and shimmery as the MUA one and more of a silver/white tone. When I apply it to my face I use my finger first then move it with the brush and it goes on so well. Makes me sparkle so much. You can buy the Make Up Revolution one here for £3!

Overall, I feel like both highlighters will be used at different times and the £6 was well worth my money. I love these highlighters so much and will be high up in my make up bag.

What highlighters are your favourite and on the high street?

Giorgio Armani event.

On Friday evening I had the pleasure of joining Southampton bloggers, for the first time at an event. I was so excited to meet these girls as I had always missed out on other events they have held because of working on the weekend – ugh. I was also meeting a girly I’ve had a lot of conversations recently with, Sarah and its always nice to put a face to a blog!

Sarah and I decided to meet up before the event to grab a coffee and chill out, as it was both our first time with these girls. I, however ended up getting there later than I planned because I cut my finger open with a pair of scissors trying to get into eyeliner. You know the saying beauty is pain, literally.

We headed over to the event and was greeted with a rather large glass of prosecco, and I will 100% not say no to glass of bubbles, ever. We said hey to the other bloggers which was lovely and headed over to wear we would see a live make up demonstration. When we got to the place we would be sitting there was gorgeous Giorgio Armani goodie bags waiting for us – cute!! We sat down and had a chilled evening watching make up being done. The products that were used were passed around and we were able to swatch/smell them for ourselves. It took absolutely everything in me not to buy a lipstick. I’m such a sucker for lipsticks but to be realistic I’m a student on a very strict budget, I just couldn’t.. but maybe one day! After all my baby Chanel lippy needs a friend, right? I also loved the fluid sheer product. It went on so well not too runny not too think and when rubbed in my hand literally glistened.. that will also go on my ever growing make up wish list!

(Excuse my poorly finger, it was cut open by scissors!)

The event was so so so much fun and I thank Southampton Bloggers for a fab evening and thank John Lewis and Giorgio Armani for making it happen and being so kind and generous to us.

The goodie bag we received was super gorgeous too. Inside is a leaflet which shows all the products they sell as well as a leaflet to say about getting offers/updates straight to your emails. There were also three samples of products in there. A perfume called Cuior Nior, a cream called cream neara extrema and a primer called maestro uv 50+.

The perfume is a gorgeous scent. It is strong yet not too floral or too musky. I could see the scent being worn by a strong business women. It definitely stands out against all the other perfumes I already own but I would totally buy this. It has a long lasting smell too, I have worn it for a few hours and the smell hasn’t disappeared and still as strong as when I first sprayed it.

The cream and the primer are gorgeous too. I haven’t yet used them properly just swatched them as I don’t want to waste them, I’d rather use them for a very very special occasion until I can save to buy them for myself at a full size. When I put them both on the back of my hand they have the perfect consistency. When rubbed in gently they have left my skin feeling fresh and not as if I’ve put product on, and my skin is very very soft. I adore them both so much.

Overall Giorgio Armani will be in my top list to buy high end products from. The staff are lovely and the make up is to such a high standard.

I can’t wait to hopefully join more blogging events with these girls! I had the best time!

Speak soon.

 

Birthday Purchase

Last Thursday it was my twenty second birthday and what.a.day. It was a perfect day out. I met up with two of my great friends Shannon and Sophie. I’ve always wanted a ‘high end’ lipstick. I have a few Mac lipstick but wanted at least one lipstick which I could single out to be THE ONE. You know what I mean?

Early afternoon after brunch and a little shop I headed into Selfridges. I love this shop, it has everything under one roof and always the place I go to buy my NYX make up and international fashion magazines. I adore it so much and can’t go to London without visiting.

I headed straight to Charlotte Tilbury first. I looked around their lipsticks as close as I could get anyway as it was busy, not sure if that was because they were giving out cute chocolate… (it was yummy!!)

Anyhow, I decided to walk on a little further and came across Chanel. Now surely it’s EVERY girls dream to own something Chanel, whether small or big… at the end of the day IT’S CHANEL! I walked over a little nervous as I know how awesome this brand is and a lot of bloggers I follow own their stuff. A really lovely lady came over and asked if we wanted help and because I had never bought from there before I needed a little direction. I knew I wanted a matte shade and in a nude colour. The lady showed me the most nude shade they had and in the matte style. I swatched it on my hand and LOVED it. I wouldn’t say it is a typical nude colour but it is really such a gorgeous lipstick.

The next question was, how much? Now I was thinking it would be at least £35-£40 because it being Chanel but to my surprise it was £26. I didn’t even have to think about it I wanted it straight away. I told the lovely lady it was my birthday and she kindly gift wrapped it… It even has THE RIBBON AND BAG! I’m seriously thinking of framing the bag, sad I know… but eeep!

Have you ever bought a high end lipstick and how what did you buy?

I really really love my lipstick and the customer service made buying it so much better.

 

10 2016 Goals

Hi guys,

As the new year has just begun, or not.. we are now 18 days in – HOW?? I thought I would share some of my goals for this year. I think this will be a good idea to write down and then at the end of the year compare these goals to see which I have completed and which I haven’t. I would write down a list of new years resolutions but I think I will more than likely stick to this idea more.

10 Goals for 2016.

  1. Climb the o2. I am completely and utterly obsessed with the city and I think you will get the most incredible views from there. The best time to go up would be the sunset time, can you imagine how beautiful that would look? My plans to do this are my 22nd birthday in April.
  2. Following on from the point before I would also love to go up the Shard in the summer. Heights don’t scare me and again the views would look incredible.
  3. Read more books. As I travel back and forth from Southampton to Luton and back again and spend A LOT of time on trains, I feel like this would be the ideal opportunity to read more. If you have any suggestions, let me know!
  4. Get a high 2:1 or a low first in one of my university grades. Setting it as one would be a realistic goal.
  5. Attend LFW either in February or September. Attending LFW has always been a dream of mine.
  6. Go to more blogger events. I went to a few last year and they were very very fun. I even got noticed at one which made my year, little ole blogger me.
  7. Blog a lot more. I’m always stuck for ideas of what to post and feel like if I post something I’m nervous i’ll be copying someone else.
  8. Get my illustrations/work out there more. I would love to collab with brands and use my illustrations with them. #dreams
  9. Find some more inner confidence to get out there more and try not to hold back too much. I’m a sucker for that. I always give advice out but never take it myself which is something I need to work on also. Basically, treating myself better.
  10. Spend a lot more time with friends and family. More spontaneous trips with friends would be exciting, more adventures would be incredible too.

There you have it, ten of my goals for 2016.

If you have any goals or any advice to help with my goals, then let me know.

I’ll speak to you all soon,

Charlotte

X