I’ve said in a post previously that I’m going to take time away from my blog to focus on my studies, but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to write a post about World Mental Health Day which takes place on October 10th. I’m quite the advocate of Mental Health especially now I have found a place where I can share my story to the world.
Although I feel that sharing my story with the world means I am putting myself in the firing line. I always worry that people will think I write on my blog about my experiences to gain attention. I’ve been suffering with Trichotillomania for over fourteen years now, which is a massive, massive part of my life I wouldn’t be writing my posts for attention. I post them for awareness. I worry that people will think that I ‘know it all’ which I really 100% don’t. I don’t even understand the depths of my own mental health illness. Let alone any of the others.
What I’m trying to say is, I write these posts to help at least one person. That is my aim, every time I pour my emotions into a post and quite frankly let the world into sometimes my deep and dark feelings. I write my blogposts to help raise awareness.
I think it’s so important that you shouldn’t be silenced because you suffer from a mental health illness. Suffering with a mental health illness is just as valid as suffering from a physical illness. Not everyone will understand what you’re feeling or going through, hell you might not understand what is happening with your feelings yourself, I myself feel this all the time. I never know how I’m going to feel when I wake up these days. I never know if I’m going to get a huge awful mood that covers my whole day like a massive storm cloud. I never know if Trich is going to worm its way into my day and make me pull half my hair out and make me feel worse than I already do. This is why it is SO important to speak out. To someone you know, to someone professional or in a journal/your own blog. Whichever makes you feel most comfortable.
It takes me a lot of energy and power to post the posts I do, but the support you receive from it helps you. It helps you know that you aren’t alone and you aren’t being silly or however you may feel. It helps not only you by getting these thoughts and feelings out but it helps other people understand too. I am so grateful that I started writing about my mental health journey and although there are times where I know it may not be everyone’s cup of tea or everyone would want to read it, it makes me happy when people do.
Please, if you ever get comments from people online, or from people you know try your best to ignore them. It makes them shallow and they’re clearly uneducated/misunderstanding. I just hope with everything I have they never feel the way we do most days. Just think of your blog/speaking out about how you feel as educating someone about how another human is feeling.
Do not ever feel silenced.
You’ve got this, 100%.
YAY! Lets start this post off with a positive.. I’ve just finished my second year of university! What a year it has been, full of ups and downs but its now d o n e. I’m looking forward to the break although I’ve now just started an internship in London, so its full on still with trying to mix that with work.
However, this post will be a little different to my other posts of reviews and such. This week is Mental Health Awareness week and to start it off I thought I’d write a little bit about me I don’t usually share and show you some uni work which is related to this. This blog post will tie in with one of the latest projects I’ve done for uni. It was a Triptych project which we had to create three pieces of art which work alongside each other and cause a reaction of any kind to the public. Whether that be shocked/intrigued or gets people thinking what on earth is that about once they’ve seen it. I took this opportunity to base it on a mental health illness which is close to me. I saw this as an opportunity to raise more awareness for it as not many people know it exists.
I suffer from a mental health condition called Trichotillomania (or Trich for some). To start Trich is a condition where a person has a impulsive control hair pulling disorder, whether that be one of many things: eyebrows, eyelashes or hair pulling from the top of your head – which is what I currently suffer from. No matter how hard I try to stop pulling, the more I think about it the more I pull and it is exhausting. Imagine cleaning your carpet week to week and pulling up massive hair balls from it from the way you just cannot stop pulling. For me, even the thought of going bald in places still doesn’t ‘stop’ me. There’s something that tells me “yes I know you want to pull but…. there could be hair on your head that is ‘dead’ or has a massive split in it, which you do not need.” This disorder is exhausting and debilitating. It makes you feel sad and it makes you feel angry at the best of times. Many people just don’t understand you, the more they say “Don’t pull” the more you get angry and feel like shouting back “I WOULD IF I COULD!!!” Believe it or not, it doesn’t make us feel any better, instead it makes us feel worse about ourselves.
I do have triggers which set it off. Usually if I’m feeling stressed, anxious, sad or maybe I know this sounds weird but even bored can set it off. I suffer a lot with feeling anxious about a lot of things. There could be simple things such as laying in bed at night and knowing that you have turned the oven off but just the small thought of it even being on could set me off and the only way I can control it is… pulling at my hair. I’ve been at interviews recently and the only way I can control not feeling unbelievably sick or worried is by pulling my hair. I guess its seen as a way to relieve and pull out that part of me which is making me feel so so ill and worried, who knows? The brain is such a weird thing.
I just wanted to share with you all a little bit about me which I don’t make public a lot, unless you know me to raise awareness as well as sharing with you all the latest piece of work I’ve done from uni. I’d love to know what you think about this… what is your reaction and do you ‘get it’?
Thank you for reading this far if you did, it means the world to me.