Mental Health and Job Interviews + A Hair Update.

It’s my first post of 2018, welcome back.

My first comeback post is something which I have been thinking a lot about since my most recent interview. So, you know how it is. You’re sat in a room with a person in front of you, who has a computer/tablet or maybe even a notebook in front of them, ready to note down any info they may need to remember about you. You are on your guard to not say the complete wrong thing and mess up your chance of grabbing your dream job. The topic comes up about what experience you have that can fit in the role. I note off all the experience I’ve had, ticking them off in my head and then mention something I have rarely, rarely mentioned in interviews before.

My blog. This little space on the internet. As soon as I said it, I gulped. HARD. My blog isn’t about the blogs I usually read. My blog isn’t a fashion blog or a beauty blog, sharing my latest finds and reviews. It did start out as that if you wanted to scroll down three years worth of posts, but not no more. My blog speaks MENTAL HEALTH.

Of course, when I mentioned I blogged about MH, they asked… so, how did that come about? I could feel myself sweating already and panicking. I know there is so much stigma around mental health issues when applying for jobs. Some job applications that I’ve applied for have asked: do you suffer from mental health? I mean… I may be wrong in this but, something in me tells me… surely this can deter you from getting a job. It shouldn’t do, but the stigma around mental health is STILL so strong. I have not once mentioned, apart from the internship/freelance position of social media/content creation I’ve been doing since August, that I suffer from Trichotillomania and Anxiety… quite strong with it too. 

So, after that question I could feel myself already sinking in the VERY plastic chair I was sat on trying to think of what I could say, until I literally blurted it out. “I pull my hair out and it has a name, Trichotillomania.” I was expecting the person to be like ???? I only expected this because I’ve had this reaction before. You pull your hair out? I was expecting the tens of questions after such as… Does it hurt? Why can’t you stop? You would know if you suffer with Trichotillomania the questions that can occur.

But no. This person, smiled and said… I’ve heard of it before. I’ve seen about it on a TV programme before. They also said, thank you so much for sharing with me so early on and being honest. I can’t tell you the amount of relief I felt. I was sweating waiting for their response. I honest to god thought I had messed the whole thing up. 

Ever since, however, I haven’t got it out of my mind. It made me feel quite weird and down when I got home. I still think that maybe I could of said it in a different way, but… I’m so proud of me, for telling a person I had only met 20 or so minutes ago, what was once my deepest and darkest secret. I’m not ashamed of having Trichotillomania. Believe me, a few years ago I was. I would never of dreamt of telling one person what it was and I would cry every night when I literally could NOT STOP PULLING. But now, I’ve accepted it as part of me. There is no cure for Trichotillomania. I will always have it for the rest of my life. It’s about time I accepted it as part of me? Don’t you think?

The biggest part of this is… I cannot help but think I’ve maybe broken some of the stigmajust a little bit? That has always been my dream. It is what I’m passionate about when it comes to MH. BREAKING THE STIGMA DOWN. 

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HAIR UPDATE:

As soon as I got home, I decided to do a little compare of my hair. I do this every couple of years, just to see how far I’ve come. If you have Trichotillomania you’re gonna know that it comes in waves. Sometimes it is horrendously bad other times you find yourself pulling a few times throughout the day. At the beginning of 2017 my hair was in a horrendous way and it just got worse and worse and worse all the way through the year until around, perhaps October time. It eased a little. I was so done with staying awake until 4AM pulling and pulling. Crying about why do I have this? Why me? 

My dream has always been to have my hair all one length. No matter the length, just to be one length and… I can proudly say… I’M ALMOST THERE. I have attached a collage of my most recently selfie at the top, compared to a graduation photo and my hair (ignore the awful blonde pic with my double chin… that is not OK, I only put it up because of my hair) from at the beginning of the year at the bottom.

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I can safely say, 2018 has to be the year I win more than Trichotillomania. 

Now, let’s hope I hear good news from this job… it’s my time now? Surely!

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Christmas is coming!

I was tagged by the lovely bitsandbobsinmybrain to complete the Christmas tag blog and I haven’t done one of these since I first started this blog two years ago. I think I either posted my first post on here inbetween Christmas and New year 2014 or, 1st January 2015. Oh… I’ve just realised that isn’t two, but THREE YEARS. Wow. If you know me for longer than this blog then, you’d know I’ve had previous blogs on different sites about different things like Graphics etc… but this is the only blog I’ve.. /KINDA/ stuck with.

Anyhow, it’s Christmas in 5 days… HOW? It’s just crazy how when it reaches September, the run up to Christmas happens SO. QUICKLY. So, I thought I’d answer some questions in a tag about how I spend my Christmas, what my fave things about Christmas are and some… truths.

I hope you enjoy, I love reading how others spend their Christmas season.

1. Do you open any presents on Christmas eve? 

No. We were never allowed to as kids. All Christmas gifts had to wait until Christmas morning. It’s even stuck to me through to my birthday as well. You know when you meet up with friends for a pre birthday celebration and the thought of opening gifts before the actual day, freaks me out. 

 

2. Are you any good at wrapping presents? 

Hell no. I am the absolute worst at wrapping up presents. 99% of the time, I wrap presents to -look- like a Christmas cracker… or so I think it does anyway.

3. What is your favourite Christmas film?

ELF! ELF ELF ELF. Although, this year was the first year I watched Love Actually and I throughly enjoyed that. Also, I love to watch The Holiday. I haven’t got round to watching Elf or The Holiday this year… seriously SLACKING.

4. What’s your favourite Christmas song? 

Christmas Wrapping but Kylie Minogue’s version. No surprise there really tho, is there? I was so lucky to be able to go and see Kylie Christmas last year live in Royal Albert Hall and went absolutely crazy for that tune. I love how fast it is and love the lyrics. I do love 100 degrees as well. The song Dannii and Kylie released two years ago. It is a proper disco tune.

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(Illustration of Dannii and Kylie I recently drew!)

 

5. Where do you usually spend Christmas?

In the AM I spend it in bed. When are you ever gonna have the excuse of laying in bed until midday, if it isn’t Christmas? Also, in new PJS. New PJS on Christmas Eve are my favourite thing and a tradition I have started for myself.

The afternoon I spend with my sister and my dad. Or shall I say, on my own? My sister has probably got up at silly o’clock and has gone to bed for the afternoon and my dad is more than likely fast asleep in the living room. Oh well, time to put on a Christmas film that’s on the box, although… I don’t find Shrek particularly Christmassy yet it’s always on?

Then we spend time with my nan and family. Having a few drinks and nibbly food. That is my fave, but how hard is it not eating all the food that you have for Christmas day in the run up?

6. Do you like giving gifts or receiving them?

I genuinely love gifting gifts. There is nothing like giving someone something you have worked hard to buy and thought hard about buying. This Christmas I am especially looking forward to giving the gifts from myself.

7. What is your favourite thing about Christmas?

I love the run up but I don’t find it exciting. I love how everyone seems more happy. I honestly don’t like Christmas as a holiday. I find it giving so much pressure and to me it is fake. YES, I said it. BAH HUMBUG. However, getting to spend time with friends and family, seeing people enjoying the gifts you give to people and receiving cards in the post is my absolute favourite. (If you’re reading this and sent me a card in the post, thank you so much!)

8. When do you start getting excited for Christmas? 

 

Probably midday on Christmas Day, knowing I’ll be getting some Christmas food and a drink, as well as spending time with family. I don’t find it exciting on the run up, although I do like waiting up until midnight to see it change from 24th to the 25th. Lame? I know.

9. What would be your dream place to visit for the Christmas season?

I’d genuinely like to experience an Australian Christmas. So I’ve heard from my friends in Australia, they still sing songs like Let It Snow in 40 degree heat. However, their Christmas cards don’t always feature snow and snowmen, but instead… santa on the beach. I’d love to experience a HOT Christmas. 

10. Do you make any New Year’s resolutions? How good are you at keeping them?

I do but I don’t. They usually just goals I’ve set myself throughout the year already.

Here’s a few for next year:

  • GET A GRAPHIC DESIGN JOB. Absolute number one priority of 2018.
  • GO ON AN AIRPLANE. I’ve never been on an airplane or a ship or left the country.
  • MA. If I don’t see any sign of getting a graphic design job by FEB, I may… apply for a Masters Degree. Who knows?
  • VISIT OTHER PLACES IN THE UK. I have so many friends around the UK who I’ve never met, yet we live in the same country. Really need to sort that out.
  • START MY OWN ETSY SHOP. I actually have a niche idea of designs I want to bring out, yet I’m so nervous I’ll invest in something and get nothing back, you know? 
  • NYE IN AUSTRALIA. That is the absolute dream. See 2019 in, in Australia.

Hope you all have a lovely Christmas and a happier new year. I hope 2018 brings you all happiness, sparkle and magic. 

Thank you for your support on my blog this year. I am so beyond grateful to everyone who has read my ramblings. I have exciting plans for 2018 and I hope they all come true. 

 

 

Until 2018, see you.

Realisation and Christmas ASK Italian bloggers dinner

This week began in the worst way. If you read my last blogpost I was about to go to my second interview for a job I really wanted. I felt like my style really reflected their brand and I had in my mind I had a good chance of getting it. Then… Monday morning I got the email that they had chosen someone else. Right back to the drawing board I go. I’m not going to lie, but I cried about it. That probably sounds sad but… I’m sure you’ve all wanted something so bad and when you don’t, it’s the worst feeling. Anyhow, I vowed that I wouldn’t change or get back on the grind of job hunting until 2018, unless… like a miracle something would find me. I quite frankly felt down about my design work.

On Tuesday morning, I woke up to a message saying I had won the competition to eat lots of pizza and drink cocktails with one of my favourite bloggers, Jessica of CocoaChelsea, you can check out her Instagram here. I’ve followed Jess for a long time now and absolutely love the content she produces. Her photo content is INCREDIBLE and her Insta stories are my faves to watch. So, to be given the opportunity to go for dinner with her, at ASK Italian trying their Christmas menus and disco ball cocktails, I couldn’t exactly say no, could I? I was so excited.

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Three people won, including myself, and one of the girls Hannah had arranged for us with Cat to meet before the event. It’s that thought of walking into an event on your own, that terrifies me. We grabbed a quick glass of wine, in the most rude pub. I’m not gonna go into that though. Then headed to the event.

We all went and met Jess and stood getting to know each other, asking questions and just getting used to the vibe. We were segmented on the side in our own little area and was presented with the coolest cranberry mojitio in a disco ball cup, I’ve ever seen. And my god, it was YUMMY. We then sat down and one of each of the starters were bought out. I instantly gravitated to the cheesy garlic bread because, who doesn’t love that? And it did NOT disappoint. Other options were bought out as well such as the Pumpkin Arancini that, according to Cat tasted like cheese and potato. I’m not THAT much into pumpkin so didn’t try it… only pumpkin thing I love is a pumpkin spiced latte from Starbucks October time, BRING ON NEXT YEAR.

 

 

We were sat chatting and I can honestly say, it felt like I had known these girlys my whole life, not just met an hour or so ago. We chatted ALL sorts of things and it was genuinely so lovely, talking to people who get you. We were also lucky enough to get some top tips from Jess too – yay! 

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We were allowed to choose what we’d like for the main and by this time I was feeling pretty jolly. Those cocktails – YES! I ordered the calzone pollo, and I had never had this before. I thought it was a pasta dish and not a GIANT pasty, but… my god it was so YUMMY.  It was filled with chicken, pancetta, mushrooms, roasted peppers, olives, tomato sauce and mozzerella. SO DAMN GOOD. So filled with the filling. If I get to go back before the Christmas menu disappears, I NEED IT AGAIN. ASAP. 

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Before our dessert came out we began the big quiz of 2017! There were different segments to the quiz… my fav was the CHRISTMAS SEGMENT! Whilst we were busy answering the questions, we were given desserts to try and… believe me when I say, I was SO confused when this first came out… SNOWBALL GNNOCHI??? RIGHT??? I was so sceptical about these but they were incredible. Tasted like little doughballs FILLED with Nutella. What more, could you want? You could also dip them into white chocolate and coconut and I was genuinely in heaven. They were incredible. 

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AND GUESS WHO WON THE QUIZ???? TEAM GLITTER BALLS DID! YES!!!!!!

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The whole evening was incredible and really and truly cheered me up. Towards the end of the evening I began to talk about the fact that I do graphic design/illustrations and have being toying for a LONG time now… must be a few years, that I want to start and Etsy shop. To create badges and tote bags and stickers and just fun things. Seeing the girls be so successful in what they do have made me SO motivated. I may even dabble in a bit of media kit designing, blog headers and buisness card designs for bloggers, that go as a pack together.

I will look into this a lot more and do some research, but could be something for the next year.

BRING ON 2018. 

Life as a Graduate Part Two.

Around 5/6 months ago, I posted a blog about being a graduate, trying to find a job as a newly graduated arts/fashion student, the changes of living away to living at home etc. Now this time has passed, I just thought I’d update you all on what is going on now that I’ve well and truly graduated and so far away from what I knew, uni life.

I still, every single day, miss the independence of living away from home but I’m very much loving all the food, internet and alone/quiet time I get. I’m loving being closer to family and not waiting up to months or when I could afford to get home to see them. I miss the uni lifestyle more than ever. I’m missing the routine. Even if I only got up to sit in a computer room for hours with my uni friends and headed home for dinner and an evening of Greys Anatomy on the box, it was still something. I miss being pushed beyond what I thought I could be creatively. I miss being inspired by class friends and tutors. I just miss uni. If you had asked me this time last year, if I was looking forward to being out of education I wouldn’t of hesitated to answer… hell yes. It’s only now, I would do anything to go back.

Sadly, all in all, not too much has changed. However, I have realised and learnt a lot from the interviewing world. I’m not sure if I should put the number on here or not, but why the hell not? It’s real life isn’t it. Since July, I have applied for 238 jobs/internships. That number is a total from only two job sites I have used. There are at least 4 other job sites I have used, where I haven’t added the number to the total. 238 times I have been rejected. 238 times I have had my hopes up when either applying or interviews. Some I have even had trial days for. 

I understand that when you graduate, it’s probably advisable for you to go into an internship. Especially if your degree is in creative subjects. Internships, from what I understand are designed for you to gain industry experience, the company can help you learn and gain the skills for industry, whilst working in industry and prepare you for working in the big wide worldwhatever that is. So, when I’ve gone for design internship interviews to just get an email back to say they have chosen someone with  more experience than me, doesn’t that just defeat the purpose of an internship? I try so hard not to be mad at that… but I just can’t help it.

 

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(Image from Pinterest, love this type!)

We all know the world of employment is difficult to get into, whatever career path you take… but for a graduate, this is really and truly tough. Getting turned down every single day, no matter how hard you try for the job is so emotionally and mentally destroying. I know people are trying to help by saying there’s a job out there for everyone, keep going, don’t give up etc… however, sadly it just doesn’t take the emotional and mental side of being declined away. You still have to read the email you’re not good enough because of experience. You still have to deal with the thoughts of; am I good enough? Why did I do a degree just to get this constantly? Will I ever be able to be a girlboss in the career I’ve always dreamt of being part of? I think it’s just as important to address this side of job declines as it is to say keep going.

I do, however have some good news, or news that I hope will be good news in the end. I went to a job interview last week where I thought I had done the best interview I’ve done to date. Despite having a panic attack in the middle of the street in London, I went in and thought I had bossed it. I had created a whole campaign for the brand that I took additionally to my interview with my portfolio and the brand loved it. I was then told at the end to wait until the end of this week. That was one of the longest weeks of my life. The wait to hear back from job interviews literally turns me into such an anxious mess. From the experience I’ve already had… is there any surprise?

I finally got an email this morning to say I am through to the second interview with their creative partners and I am so BEYOND excited. However, I am so nervous… I am so nervous because standard interviews I’ve done a lot now. But have never done a second interview and I just want to do the best I possibly can for the role.

I need this job more than ever now. It would be the most perfect Christmas present. Please keep your fingers crossed. 

I’m looking forward to updating part three in another 5/6 months from now to see how much things have changed, if at all? 

 

Online friends, role models, bullying and a little bit of news. 

So, on the 29th October 2010 it was the first time I met one of my role models growing up, Dannii Minogue. Exactly, seven years ago today and I can remember the lead up to it so very very well. That feeling of not being able to sleep the night before out of pure excitement. Creating a card from scratch, which I had an argument with the card shop man about getting the perfect card… to then being able to give it to Dannii. I remember, watching Dannii on X Factor for years, walking into newsagents and seeing Dannii on magazine covers and buying them and collecting them (not ashamed to say I still have them). I never thought, that I’d ever meet the real lady herself.

Funny story about the actual day, whilst we were waiting in line to meet, Dannii walked down to where she would be signing her new book and it was literally the first time I had ever seen her, in flesh. I remember turning to my friends and saying ‘omg she’s real’ – how cute! 

As I was growing up I was teased a lot and made fun out of supporting Dannii and the other people I looked up to.

But what people didn’t know, was… watching Dannii on X Factor every weekend and the fact that she tweeted back took me away from the real life problems that was going on… for example – BULLYING.  I’ve touched on bullying on my blog before. It’s such a part of my life, although it is such a sad, horrible part, yet a big part… that I only really talk about it in context.

I was bullied right from year one at school to when I left in year 11. I would be wary and on my toes, every single day at school. A few times, during school, I was left on my own in break times and lunch times. I’d go into lessons and have the words ‘spongebob squarepants’ or just the plain and simple words ‘SQUARE HEAD!’ shouted at me, continuously until I believed it. I believed I had a square head, especially with the amount of people who used to remind me of it, every single day.

Even now, today… it has knocked my confidence so much. I’m away from the people who used to call me names, but their words have scarred me. I find it incredibly difficult to speak up about ideas in a work/education situation. I never did it whilst at school, because I didn’t think the class would be worthy of my answer. To them, I just thought I was a square head and that was it. To this day, I still don’t know how I put up with it for years and years. How did I let people degrade me and make me feel like that? 

I wasn’t scared as such to go to lessons, they didn’t scare me… it was just, the thought of being called it continuously, even when I was minding my own business and stayed out of people’s way..  sadly it didn’t make them stop. I remember, so many lunch times and break times you would never see me on the school playground or field. I felt more safe and secure being inside the school, even if I did annoy the teachers. 

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(Seeing Dannii seven years ago to this day – 29/10/2010) 

But, becoming a supporter (I detest the word fan) of Dannii and Kylie and all the other people I’m a fan of, I felt validated. Something I didn’t feel from my own age group in real life. I had Twitter before everyone else caught on at school, and through Twitter and Dannii/Kylie I was able to make friends. Friends I still have to this day. Friends, I will always, always be grateful for. I didn’t talk about being bullied online at school because I was scared. But these people made me feel like I had friends outside the few I had at school. Even if they weren’t right there with me. 

Through the friends I had made on Twitter and online, I felt listened to. People would reply to my tweets and made me feel like people cared as well as making me feel people wanted to talk to me.

And guess what? Not once on the internet or since school have I been called a square head. Not once. 

People may of teased me back then about looking up to a celebrity(ies) but what they didn’t know is, they helped me feel me again. They helped me make friends that I still see to this day. They have made me feel validated. 

I still struggle every day with self confidence issues and just confidence in general. 

In fact, I have my dream job trial day tomorrow (30th October) and because of my confidence issue of speaking out ideas, and believing in myself, if I am good enough… I’m terrified. But I’m gonna try my absolute best. 

I hope this post helps people out there. In one way or another. It was incredibly hard to type but I’m so glad I have.

Most of all, thank you to all the role models that I have looked up to, who have helped me make friends for life and for making me the happiest when I was the saddest. 

To the person, who has not found love, yet…

I’m not really sure how to begin this post apart from, I have a lot of things on my mind lately and figured writing about them in a blogpost will be a great way to get it out. I thought I would write this post in an anonymous letter, to whomever may need it, including perhaps myself. I’m not entirely sure if this will flow well, at all.

“Dear whomever is reading this,

I’m not sure how I’m gonna get into this letter. I guess the only way I can do is state what I want to say without ‘beating round the bush’ – whatever that means. I’m 23 years old. I’m a female and I’ve never ever been in a serious relationship. I say serious, in actual fact I mean… any love-type relationship, at all. 

I often see posts on social media, of people my age and even younger with their loved one. Going away on holidays together, romantic dates or even days where you sit in bed, eat pizza and binge watch TV shows. I know that what is posted on social media is what people want you to see of their lives, or has been said before… a show’s highlight reel. I know, it isn’t always what it’s really like. There could be other problems and issues people are going through that they don’t want you to see. I get that. But the posts I do see, I can’t help but feel, when will it be my turn? 

The ‘attention’ I ever seem to get is from men, which I wish would leave me alone. For example, not too long ago, I got off the train from London after a job interview and couldn’t afford a taxi home so had to get the bus. Whilst walking to the bus stop the bus passed me and I missed it. I still headed there, waiting for the next bus as the walk from the station home isn’t long, but long enough. Especially after a day in London. The bus stop isn’t in a location where there’s no one around. In fact, it’s in a place where many, many people are around. Walking, driving, whatever it may be. However, there was this one man… quite tall and weirdly carrying a balloon. Must have got it from McDonalds near by, who was following me. Every time I stopped and turned round, he stopped. Not that this should be an issue at all, but I was wearing quite a short leather skirt and a longer blazer. I mean… I had to dress up smartly because I had an interview. I started to get concerned because I was alone and this guy was literally following me. It wasn’t until he started shouting stuff I really got nervous. I ended up having to run… literally run, two bus stops away to get away from him. WHY is it always, these types of people I attract?

I would say that I’m an outgoing person. I would like to think I am fun to be around. Of course not all the time, we alllllll have those days. Whether we admit it or not. You know, them types of days where you just want to hide from the world, snuggled in bed, watching your fave TV show and drinking hot chocolate or cups of tea on tap. (If you’re interested, my show is Greys Anatomy… I’ve watched 11 out of 13 seasons and it’s the ONLY show I can watch, without getting bored… unless you’re talking about Friends, but that’s a different story – that Now TV I bought at Christmas time, my fave for all Grey’s binge sessions) With that being said about myself, why haven’t I found someone yet? Why does no one pay any sort of attention to me?

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I feel a little left out. I feel like maybe I’m not good enough for a partner. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m a bit terrified of love, because I’ve never had it before. I wouldn’t know the first thing to do. Maybe it’s just the attention I want and the love and not everything else that comes with it? Maybe… I just don’t know what or who I want after all?

I hate putting labels on things, especially things such as love. Love should just be love, right? Whether you’re a boy/man who has fallen in love with a boy/man/girl/woman or if you’re a girl/woman who’s fallen in love with a girl/woman/boy/man. Surely love, is love. 

I don’t know if what I’ve said has made sense. If you have read this and has also never had a boyfriend/girlfriend, who is also the only one out of your friend’s who hasn’t got/had a partner, Just know you’re not alone. I know the feeling is crappy and I too, am fed up of that saying… there is someone for everyone. I will believe it when I see it. I do, however.. believe everyone is worthy of love. Whoever and whenever it will be.

Until then, I guess you and I will be holding out for a hero… whoever they may be x x x”

 

LFW – #TommyNow show. What it was like being there.

I, for one, cannot believe I get to write a blogpost about attending a London Fashion Week show. Ever since I can remember, I have always wanted to attend one. It was always my goal, but, I knew that you had to be invited to the shows, which meant I had no hope at all.  However, whilst scrolling through my Twitter feed I saw that Yanin, (PrettySickly) had an opportunity to attend the Tommy Hilfiger RockCircus show…of course I jumped at the chance and… I won!

Let me start by saying, I cannot thank Yanin enough for choosing me and my plus one Sophie, for this experience. To see any London Fashion Week show would be a plus, but to see the one, where two of my biggest muses, Gigi Hadid show her third Tommy collection and walk the show, as well as her beautiful sister, Bella Hadid (that I have a crush on!) with all their model friends, it was a dream come true. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU.

The whole process began with the decision of – what am I gonna wear??? For a broke graduate, I knew I would not be able to buy the dream outfit I would want to wear so had to settle for something less. I was umming and ahhing all week before the show, shall I order this? Shall I order that? Hmmm. It wasn’t until the day before I headed into town in hope that something jumped out at me. The weather has turned cold and I was so not up for wearing anything that would make me freezing. So, I settled for this outfit.

A £10 dress from Primark. Thanks Primark, you babes. My favourite part of the outfit is, the studded boots (from H&M) and fishnet socks teamed with the biggest, brightest, Pat Butcher-esque earrings from Topshop.

 

Tommy Hilfiger – RockCircus was on Tuesday 19th September and that afternoon I headed up to London to meet Sophie for pre-fashion week dinner. After dinner in our favourite chinese restaurant in Leicester Square Mr Wong, we headed to the venue. When we arrived, we were in a completely different line and completely bi-passed all the people. How cool. How VIP. How sassy. We had to wait outside for around an hour until we were allowed in.

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When entering the venue we were handed a Tommy Hilfiger drawstring bag. Yaaas!! As soon as we got in, there were stands with the collection that was being shown on. There were photo booths. There were GIF booths. There were people offering wine. There were people offering free burgers, hot dogs and fish and chips. There was a bar. It was all lit up like a circus inside, with a big Tommy RockCircus light up sign. It was something that I had never ever seen before. I was overwhelmed. 

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One, that I was even in the building and I was actually at an invite only London Fashion Week show, but how incredible it looked as well. We found a spot where we could stand and chilled until the show started, trying to spot the celeb just down from where we stood every time a bunch of paparazzi had their cameras flashing. All whilst standing, sipping wine and taking it all in. It wasn’t long until someone who was working the show, walked by and offered a halloumi burger. HALLOUMI BURGER. ALL THE YES FROM ME. Damn, it was sooooo good.

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It wasn’t too long until the show started and that was when the adrenaline kicked in and the buzz was felt in the atmosphere. Gigi walked out first and I swear, I could of fainted. I’ve admired this lady and her work ethic for so long and to see her, right there, in front of me. Literally, arms length away. Wow. I could feel that inner 14 year old fangirl in me about to make an appearance. The show had the most perfect soundtrack. Hip hop/RnB to strut your stuff too. I was so tempted to join in, not sure if they would like that though. I was stood with water in my eyes a few times, just so beyond grateful to be there. My dream coming true before my eyes

Gigi and Bella Hadid – ahhhhh!!!

Jourdan Dunn, Hayley Baldwin, Georgia May Jagger, Joan Smalls and a smiling Bella

When the fashion show had finished, there was a legit circus act happening. People on a trapeze and swinging from hoops, climbing big pieces of material, just wow. Whilst that was all happening, the stage was getting set for the one and only The Chainsmokers. They were performing at the afterparty. YES! I’ve loved these guys for a long time, just a cherry on top of the cake. Whilst standing watching The Chainsmokers (wow amazing live!) we were handed mini doughnuts. This show was the most incredible, amazing, overwhelming event I have ever, ever been to. 

Sophie and I stood watching the show for a little while before taking a wonder round. I didn’t want to mooch before the show, as I didn’t want to lose what incredible space we had. We went into the photobooth and got the biggest poster, with the Tommy London writing over the top as a take away gift for being there. We posed with microphones and a star tamborine. Just like Gigi does in the promo running up to the event. I was living the dream. 

Even now, 16 hours after coming home from the event I am still on a buzz. I cannot believe I was given this opportunity. I cannot believe I saw Gigi Hadid and Bella Hadid with all their model friends. I always catch up on these guys, when they walk catwalk shows. Then, they were right in front of me. I cannot believe I got to attend such an incredible, well put on and fun event at London Fashion Week.

I hope in the future I can attend more London Fashion Week events, they are so fun. And, thank you, once again Yanin, for making my dream come true.