This post is one that I thought of, off the top of my head whilst walking to work. I wanted to write another Trichotillomania post. A post which gives whoever is reading this a sense of what it takes to be in a situation which is so easy and enjoyable for some yet not for others. I love getting pampered and I love getting my hair cut but I can tell you, it is one of the most stressful things to do whilst suffering with Trich.
I have touched on this in a post before, but 9/10 I go to the hairdressers in the first place to try and trick my mind into thinking that all the split ends which I endlessly search for and all the ‘hard’ feeling hairs have been cut out, and none remain. Before I go I really have to amp myself up. My own hair is much shorter at the sides compared to the rest of my hair from where I can snap them off. This gives me major self confidence issues as it is, let alone going to a place where they specifically look at your hair.
The usual conversation that goes whilst at the hairdressers is this: “The sides of your hair are very damaged, aren’t they?” which I then respond with the same old answer every time “I bleached my hair from red to blonde myself” This obviously would of damaged my hair a lot but… I did it around four years ago now. Surely all the sides of my hair would have grown back by now, in the eyes of the hairdresser.
I have to mentally prepare myself for the shame, especially now I see the same hair dresser every time for her to mention the broken off bits. I normally go in the hair dressers with my hair down – take it out before stepping in. Somehow this makes me think that if she sees my hair before like this, she won’t be shocked if I was to take it down and most of it is broken.
After the whole experience has happened, despite all the anxiety that goes with it waiting for my turn to go and trying my absolute hardest not to pull and if I did I would do it on the down low and hope no one sees, I feel good. It works for like a day to stop pulling but it also keeps my hair in good condition and helps it regrow. I normally go for shorter and if it is a bad time on the whole Trich front I usually cut my hair to a point which I can’t lift it up to look at, that way I won’t see if theres any split ends to pull – success. My goal however is to have my hair long, long long hair. I will get there one day.
I have researched into Trich friendly hairdressers and there are particular ones in America from old articles which say they are, yet I haven’t seen any in the UK yet. Maybe I’m just missing them but if you know of any in the UK I’d love to find out? I hope Trich gets so much more awareness in the future and all hair salons become Trich friendly.
I haven’t had my hair cut in around three months now, which isn’t long but my last experience wasn’t pleasant and I’ve sadly kind of been put it off. I need to get the courage and go. If you are nervous and scared as a Trich sufferer yourself and you don’t want to go alone, try and get a understanding friend to go with you. I always see that as a massive help. You could always treat yourself for coffee and cake afterwards – a firm believer in ALL CELEBRATIONS OF VICTORY. Go you!!! Remember also, if you can’t, you are not alone. I’m always open for a chat. I believe you can do it.