YAY! Lets start this post off with a positive.. I’ve just finished my second year of university! What a year it has been, full of ups and downs but its now d o n e. I’m looking forward to the break although I’ve now just started an internship in London, so its full on still with trying to mix that with work.
However, this post will be a little different to my other posts of reviews and such. This week is Mental Health Awareness week and to start it off I thought I’d write a little bit about me I don’t usually share and show you some uni work which is related to this. This blog post will tie in with one of the latest projects I’ve done for uni. It was a Triptych project which we had to create three pieces of art which work alongside each other and cause a reaction of any kind to the public. Whether that be shocked/intrigued or gets people thinking what on earth is that about once they’ve seen it. I took this opportunity to base it on a mental health illness which is close to me. I saw this as an opportunity to raise more awareness for it as not many people know it exists.
I suffer from a mental health condition called Trichotillomania (or Trich for some). To start Trich is a condition where a person has a impulsive control hair pulling disorder, whether that be one of many things: eyebrows, eyelashes or hair pulling from the top of your head – which is what I currently suffer from. No matter how hard I try to stop pulling, the more I think about it the more I pull and it is exhausting. Imagine cleaning your carpet week to week and pulling up massive hair balls from it from the way you just cannot stop pulling. For me, even the thought of going bald in places still doesn’t ‘stop’ me. There’s something that tells me “yes I know you want to pull but…. there could be hair on your head that is ‘dead’ or has a massive split in it, which you do not need.” This disorder is exhausting and debilitating. It makes you feel sad and it makes you feel angry at the best of times. Many people just don’t understand you, the more they say “Don’t pull” the more you get angry and feel like shouting back “I WOULD IF I COULD!!!” Believe it or not, it doesn’t make us feel any better, instead it makes us feel worse about ourselves.
I do have triggers which set it off. Usually if I’m feeling stressed, anxious, sad or maybe I know this sounds weird but even bored can set it off. I suffer a lot with feeling anxious about a lot of things. There could be simple things such as laying in bed at night and knowing that you have turned the oven off but just the small thought of it even being on could set me off and the only way I can control it is… pulling at my hair. I’ve been at interviews recently and the only way I can control not feeling unbelievably sick or worried is by pulling my hair. I guess its seen as a way to relieve and pull out that part of me which is making me feel so so ill and worried, who knows? The brain is such a weird thing.
I just wanted to share with you all a little bit about me which I don’t make public a lot, unless you know me to raise awareness as well as sharing with you all the latest piece of work I’ve done from uni. I’d love to know what you think about this… what is your reaction and do you ‘get it’?
Thank you for reading this far if you did, it means the world to me.